Back in February, I was asked to generate ideas for a Valentine’s Day display at the Central library and the cynical side of me thought: let’s do a display about breaking up! so I browsed through our collection about relationships, and to my sad surprise, I found plenty of books about heartbreak.
Apparently, men cheat on women and vice versa (with staggering frequency!); both genders unwittingly find themselves in co-dependent relationships, and it seems like everyone (married, dating, divorced, widowed) needs advice on dealing with emotional turmoil. There are countless people browsing on internet dating sites, while wondering whether to stay with their current partner or not – and perhaps you’re one of them.
So, have you been cheated on, or are you the bad guy? Do you struggle with intimacy? Does it seem like you can’t ever find a suitable partner – no matter how many dates you politely sit through? Are your standards too high or too low? Are you dating the same type of person over and over again?
There’s only so much wisdom you can glean from Sex and the City reruns, and your more-than-slightly-bitter circle of friends. At some point, you’re going to have to delve deeper and explore your childhood family structure, your fears and insecurities, and your expectations of what a lasting relationship entails. Not fun, but definitely necessary.
Find the tools you’ll need by browsing the relationships section of your local library branch. Here are just a few of the items you might find there:
Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship & Life Together by Mark Driscoll
Marriage Rules: A Manual for the Married and the Coupled Up by Harriet Goldhor Lerner
Mirror Effect: Six Steps to Finding your Magical Match Using Online Dating by Troy Pummill
From Shy to Social: The Man's Guide to Personal & Dating Success by Christopher Gray