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How to Judge a Book by its Cover

Week 4: Unplug
by Adina on Youth Read 2013 - 6 Comment(s)

How to Judge a Book by its Cover

By Adina

 

Hello and welcome to your public library! Below is a guide to assist you through the exasperating task that is selecting reading material from the endless shelves of your local book barn. The following guidelines are specifically aimed at those browsing through the young adult fiction section, but are applicable to all age groups and genres. Please enjoy and happy reading!

 

1.      If the book is pink:

The main character is a girl.

2.      If the main character is a girl and you are a girl:

she will be much prettier, smarter, funnier and altogether more fascinating than you. Boys will be begging for her attention. Like you, she will have family issues, female enemies and an unattainable crush, but her happy ending is guaranteed in the next 300 pages, while you’ll have to wait a few more decades for yours. Put the book down and find one that won’t make you feel bad about yourself.

3.      If the main character is a girl and you are a boy:

this book is too mature for you.

4.      If the people on the cover are naked to any extent:

this book is too mature for you.

5.      If the cover displays a weapon of any kind:

this book is violent. Therefore, it is too mature for you.

6.      If the book is a hardcover:

you will not be able to sleep with it under your pillow. Find the paperback.

7.      If the book is a paperback:

you will not be able to prop it up against your plate to read while you eat dinner. Find the hardcover.

8.      If the book is in the manga section and has pirates, soul reapers, dragon balls, gods of death, high school students and/or card games on the front (which is the back) or in the summary (which is on the front):

put it back. Always go for the ninjas.

9.      If the book has been adapted into a major motion picture:

watch the movie. Lord knows Taylor Lautner’s abs make up for his ignominious acting ability.

10. If you know others who have enjoyed this book:

you might as well pick it up. Even if you can’t bear the first six pages, at least you tried. You can always read the summarized plot on Wikipedia. If possible, revert to Step 9.

 

 

That concludes your guide to summer reading! We hope this narrowed it down for you!

Comments

by PotterAlways713
This gave me a tremendous laugh, thanks for posting. (:
by A person.
xD This is hilarious! Although I disagree with number 9.
by Anonymous
LOL!! :)
by awesome girl :)
bwahahaha. Hilarious. (I think this rules out pretty much every book I like to read though :) )
by Shay
Awesome! Hahaha
by Anonymous
LOL I likee this :)

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